Side Effects

Hello again. I want to send a big thank you for everyone who messaged, text, FB, called, and posted comments here on my last post. I know what it was a bit of a downer and I appreciate all of the positive feedback. Unfortunately, it's likely to get that way time from time. But moving on...I wanted to update all of you on how the chemo is going so far. I had my second round last week. Of course with all chemo, there are side effects, they're just all different. I tend to get nauseated the first few (3-4) days after chemo. The doctor prescribed Zofran and has me take it prophylactically in the morning during those days. The main SE has been a horrible rash. It started with just my face, but has now spread to my chest, trunk, arms, neck, shoulders, scalp, and legs. There are even some spots inside my ears. It has been a week and a half of trying different creams and ointments. I've been to the pharmacy everyday. Yesterday the doctor called and prescribed an oral steroid to help get over the hump, so to speak. Apparently in most cases, the rash flares after the first few rounds, then subsides, and eventually goes away. I'm really looking forward to the going away part...especially before the wedding. I'm kind of worried about losing my hair. There's a 20-30 % chance of it happening. My hair has definitely thinned and comes out in little clumps after I shower. I really hope I don't lose it all...especially with the wedding  coming up. Also the neuropathy in my fingertips has flared back up slightly, but it's tolerable. Overall, I can't complain. I mean the SE's aren't ideal, but they're treatable...well except for the hair loss.

In other news, I've been feverishly working on the wedding invitations. They're going a out a little late, because in all of chaos, I simply put them on the back burner and forgot about them. However, it's actually proved to be a good distraction in the middle of everything.

Hope all is well with everyone!
Love and prayers,
Holly

The Struggle is Real

I know it's been a while since I posted on here. I just wanted to take a minute to write an honest post. I've really been struggling emotionally lately. I've been in a real funk. In the immediate past, I've had some high and lows but usually the lows pass. This time, I just haven't been able to get out of this funk. Poor John, I don't know how he deals with this. Last night I kept him up because I was sobbing. Here are some of the issues I'm struggling with. 1. The side effects of the chemo. Each drug brings different side effects. Some worse than others. But because I'll never be off chemo, I'll always have to deal with them. 2. I don't understand why. Why did I get cancer. Why did God allow this. Why does my life get cut short just when things were finally starting to come together. 3. I miss my old life. I miss just enjoying my time. I think about how life was before I got cancer a lot. Just enjoying the moment, not worried about when it will all end. There's more but it just gets worse. I just hope I'm able to get out of this funk soon, but it's been hanging on to no avail. I'm asking for prayers to help me get through this. Thanks for listening.

Love and prayers,
Holly