So last week I had my chemo treatment. I have begun to dread going in for treatment. It's a long day and then the side effects start over (they're always the worst immediately after treatment). I had scans to see the progress of the treatment. Overall, they weren't bad, but they weren't as good as I was hoping. I really struggled with this past round of chemo. The doctors are saying that if I fully recover, I'll still be very likely to have a relapse. That is so hard to hear. It made me feel that all this work and fighting is for nothing. Overall, I try really hard to stay positive. I've made drastic changes to my diet to help my body fight against the cancer. But there are times that I'm angry that I got cancer. I'm angry that I have to go through this at a young age. I'm angry that I don't get more time. I'm angry that I didn't do something sooner. I'm angry because I don't understand why God is putting me through this. Then there are days when I'm at peace. I'll be honest, it's an up and down journey.
Love and prayers,
Holly
I'm angry for you Holly. I don't fully know what you're going through. But I can imagine the unfairness of it all and all the crazy emotions you may be experiencing. Why do you have to go through this? But I am so grateful to God that you're not alone in the journey. That you have an amazing life partner who is by your side supporting and loving you. Praying for you and John. Love you Holly!!! I'm so glad to have met you and have you as my friend.
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers with you Holly!! God is with you every step of the way!
ReplyDeleteI can imagine. All totally normal feelings. Stay strong my friend and try (no matter how hard it is) to focus on the positive and God and not the doc's negativity. *hugs*
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